The themes for this week are power, love, inner child, speaking hard and frank and control,
This week I learned to trust myself a little bit more then I have in the past.
For instance, today I busted someone gossiping about me. This seems to be a reoccurring incident in my life that I absolutely cannot shake for some reason! But I could sit there knowing that this person is gossiping about me and letting that energy affect my psyche. Or I could say something and get rid of it. Of, course I chose to say something.
I also learned to keep taking action even when it is downright scary. I’ve been speaking my truth, my real authentic voice, with all it’s elongated verbiage. The real things that I’ve been thinking I’ve been saying. I’ve been putting my needs first. I’ve been filling up my cup of love inside of myself. And honestly the process feels a bit tortuerous. Because I am rubbing up against the patterns in the way I am used to doing things. But these patterns are all in the air inside of myself. Because the major inflicting wound that was keeping them in place has been healed. So now they are much more maluable. And I can keep chipping away from them easily.
An insight that I’ve noticed is that I have become more aware of subconscious manipulation on the part of other people, that I’ve normally just gotten sucked into, totally unaware of.
For example, when I’m talking to someone and they will look down or away at what they want me to do. I used to give it. And even today, I do it. Because it is an automatic reaction. One that I was never aware of before. I am now conscious of when s omeone tries to manipulate me. When that is the case I can refer to the inner bonding process which has really helped me. It is a process that helps me affirm myself. And feel genuine love for myself. It helps me rely and trust just on myself and not on any outside source. It really is a way for me to be powerful.