“Aren’t I special too”
“Why didn’t you love me?”
Flashes of memories, childhood pictures, photographs all flooding my mind. There is no need to force any action as my body holds the pain and knows what to do. All I need to do is allow. Allow the pain (which isn’t as bad as you’d think) but there is a lot of it, to flow from my subconscious to my conscious and out through my tears. The result is worthwhile. It is a lighter, brighter, calmer version of myself.
I am starting to understand the we really are like magnets. And what is inside of our minds really does have pushing and puling power. We are really here are Earth to heal ourselves and it is true that every situation we are in will teach us something. This insight has me looking at life a little bit more through a spiritual glass. Today I allowed myself to truly grieve over a childhood trauma of never feeling special and always being compared with mycousin. I was surprised that I didn’t need to fore anything. The pain and emotion are already there in my subconscious. The only thing that I had to do was allow. And yes, it is terrifying to go into this kind of pain. And when you allow, the feelings wash over you. And they take oer. Your thoughts become automatic. The words you here are innocent. While I was reexpericing my emotions of this trauma all I heard was “aren’t I special to mommy?” “aren’t I special?”. The little girl inside of me was still saying this to this day. And right now I gave her a voice, and grieved over this trauma. It was well worth the effort because I felt a sense of peace and serenity flow through my body. And wash outward to everyone I encountered. Previous days I always felt alone but after grieving I felt a sense of belonging and love. More people reached out to me by text message, and I got a second job. It is no coincidence that we are tranmitters. Like radio channels. And it is worth it for me to increase my frequency.More to come