Nov 19- Shine Suckers
The person that I thought I was is not that person. I can trace back every circumstance in my life right now to their origin roots in childhood. It is amazing the things that I remember now that I didn’t remember before I had started. It is painful to live in my childhood again. I thought I had a normal and happy childhood. But now looking back on it there are things that I needed that I didn’t get. And they left me wounded. And I look at my mom and dad and see that they were raising me as wounded individuals themselves. I had all the hallmarks of them, I lost my inner child who knew who she was when she was 5. And I have struggled to reclaim that exuberance ever since. Knowing I had lost it but not knowing it was ever something to reclaim in myself.
Now that I have done the healing work to raise my energy vibration, and healed my heart chakra so that it is opened more, opened my throat chakra, and gotten some new energies, I feel amazing. I would rate myself on the scale of “alright” as I have said before. The goal is to get to “Love myself!”. So you see I have a couple more steps to climb. Today the weirdest thing happened, and that was someone hit on me from his truck. I was walking and he said he liked my coat! I said thanks! Instead of usually ignoring him. But since I am feeling more open now I smiled! He then said in a funny tone. Are you single? And we laughed and waived has he drove away. This has never happened to me before. It is truly revolutionary. I have never been open in any sense where someone would feel COMFORTABLE saying that to me. Think about it. That guy had to see me and sense that it was alright and even welcomed to make that kind of joke. I did welcome it, lovingly. It was a beautiful moment that the universe gave me which confirmed that I am headed in the right direction in my healing, and it also confirmed that the law of attraction is real. And that you truly do attract into your life based on your energy level or vibration. Things come to you quickly and like a magnet when you are healed and open. Anyone can do it! You just need the awareness.
Another lesson that I discovered is that there are energy drainers. It is a lesson that is painful but I’m glad I was made aware of it. Today I was super expression and made a funny joke. I have usually been aware at making funny jokes because someone would always rain on my parade! Or the second I let my guard down someone would remind me to put it back up! Well I made a funny joke and a wild eyed energy drainer was ready to pounce! They cut my heart with a controlling comment. They tried to restrain my wings and it hurt. It wounded me. And suddenly my powerful, funny, and confident voice went wounded. I had to strain my voice and it was no longer powerful but had strains of desperation or pain in it. What happened? Well I know now that when someone does this it is because they are projection their issues on to me. They are stuck at a certain energy level. And because energy robs each other. Meaning some people have an overabundance and others have a deficient. The people with deficient will try to bring the others energy down as a way to feel better or raise theirs! We’ve all been there. But I have confirmed that once I heal MORE. I won’t have this issue. I will be able to see and feel clearly that this person is stuck on a level that I am not. And hey then I can laugh at the situation instead of internalize it!